Chuck Norris Joke #28

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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

Exclusive Chuck Norris Joke #4

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Every Sunday, we feature an exclusive Chuck Norris joke only seen here. They may not be as good as the old classic ones, but hopefully they'll be decently funny.


Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris Joke #27

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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Chuck Norris Joke #26

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When Chuck Norris swims, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris Joke #25

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Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris Joke #24

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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris Joke #23

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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris Joke #22

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When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Exclusive Chuck Norris Joke #3

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Every Sunday, we feature an exclusive Chuck Norris joke only seen here. They may not be as good as the old classic ones, but hopefully they'll be decently funny.

If you rearrange the letters in ‘Chuck Norris’ it spells roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris Joke #21

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Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris Joke #21

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Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.

Chuck Norris Joke #20

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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris Joke #19

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When God said “Let there be light,” Chuck Norris said, “Say please.”

Chuck Norris Joke #18

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One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Chuck Norris Joke #17

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Chuck Norris once shot a plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Exclusive Chuck Norris Joke #2

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Every Sunday, we feature an exclusive Chuck Norris joke only seen here. They may not be as good as the old classic ones, but hopefully they'll be decently funny.


The word ‘chuck’ comes from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris Joke #16

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Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chuck Norris Joke #15

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If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris Joke #14

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On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.

Chuck Norris Joke #13

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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris Joke #12

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Chuck Norris beats rock, paper, AND scissors.

Chuck Norris Joke #11

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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Exclusive Chuck Norris Joke #1

Every Sunday, we will feature an exclusive Chuck Norris joke only seen here. They may not be as good as the old classic ones, but hopefully after a while they'll be decently funny.

There is no such thing as night. Only the Sun hiding from Chuck Norris.





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Chuck Norris Jokes #1 - 10

As part of the birth of this blog, today, 10 Chuck Norris jokes will be featured instead of the usual one.
1.Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2.Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

3.If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

4.Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

5.Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

6.Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

7.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

8.There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

9.There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

10.The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

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Disclaimer

All of these facts may or may not be true, and that information will not necessarily be revealed. In other words, don't sue us, Chuck Norris!

About

Everybody loves Chuck Norris jokes. Everybody. So, why not get one everyday? We'll provide them to you. All you have to do is read. No fancy asterisks. Nothing. Just read. And laugh. :)